life sucks sometimes

Today was interesting. My life isn't that interesting. Today actually wasn't that interesting if I think about it. I didn't do anything. My life in fact is kind of ugh at the moment. I sleep late, I wake up late. not the life that I want. I can't help it. I stayed home all day and missed "work". Didn't talk to my dad today. Did Yoga... found out that a friend found out that I talked to his ex girl friend.. not becaus eI like her but because she's my friend. tired of it. tired of drama. so stupid... I called a girl that I used to like... it was a short coversation. lame. its all good.

I feel so nasty... sooo sooooo nasty. My room is messy, I can't do anything. I'm stuck.. I can't get out of this funk.. I need to go on a fast.. My spiritual life feel sooo nasty. its aligned with my physical life. Slob. Fat. Ugly. ugh, I can't take it. I would be really embarassed and would hate myself if Jesus came and saw me right now.. he sees me but if he was here physically... if today was the day he came down. I wouldn't be in a good situation.

I really need God. I feel so far from him... So close yet so far... I go to church, praise team and want to be more involved but I can't even get my own spiritual life or my physical life together. Would it have been different if I just went to a real university? How am I gonna get rich like this? I need to break this before I really grow up.. I don't want to be a lazy husband or father. This is such bs.. I really hate myself right now.

If I was someone else, I would yell at me and slap me.

It may sound crazy but its true... I'm heading towards destruction... total destruction.

my fatass needs to lose weight too.

when the time comes.

Everything in life... when the time comes, will come in to place.
Jesus will come when the time comes.